This month, I will be walking 100km throughout Mental Health Month to make a difference to the lives of people touched by mental illness and suicide. My goal is to raise $500 to help make mental health tools available for people living with mental illness. However, my walk isn’t just about the money because at a time like this I know that we can’t all afford to give what we have away, even if we want to. My walk this month is about awareness and destigmatizing something we all deal with, our mental health.
I want to share my own struggles with mental health and to encourage people who follow me, my friends and my family to talk about theirs, when they’re comfortable too.
I’m taking part in this walk because I love to walk, I thrive on accomplishing things, I want to raise money to help people help themselves because almost half (45%) of Australians will experience a mental illness in their lifetime, but less than half will access any treatment and because I struggle on a daily basis with my own mental health and haven’t really sought much treatment since moving out of home.
Interestingly, as I sit here and write about the importance of mental health and therapy and the need to destigmatize both of these things, I am not currently in therapy. I have been before, I think I need to be now, but it is something I still keep putting off. Therapy is so important, whether you’re feeling on top of the world or like you’re falling off the edge of it. But finding the right therapist is just as important, just like you are an individual, your mental health needs the right individual to help. It’s like finding the right hair dresser, or dentist or PT. Some will fit and some just won’t. This can make it daunting, the idea of working through a list of therapists until you find the right one, repeating your story and your pain to person after person until someone just feels right. I haven’t found the right person yet, but I also know I never will if I don’t look.
Therapy can be expensive, and although there are ways around that it can add another layer of hesitation to taking the next step. Thankfully in Australia our healthcare system has provided us with access to 10 Medicare subsidised psychological therapy sessions every 12 months and during COVID 19 (and hopefully ongoing) this has been increased to 20 sessions. While this is amazing, it can still depend on the therapist or organisation you go with. Prices, like any business, always vary.
Therapy can also be confronting, you have to retell your stories, explain your pain, or even acknowledge your own mistakes, but there is no way around that other than facing up to it.
I think, for me personally, it’s easy to come out of a bad day, a dark patch and think ‘oh look, I’m ok, it sorted itself out so maybe I don’t actually need to go’. To have a good afternoon, a walk in the sun, a chat to a friend, a nice glass of wine and tell yourself that was enough, you’re ok now. But anyone can tell you, while those good moments are important, they aren’t the solution.
One of my goals this month is to book myself in for therapy because over the years I have hit some lows, I have lost significant amounts of weight due to stress and anxiety, I have drunk in excessive amounts, lashed out at friends, had panic attacks in work bathrooms, cried in the shower, cried myself to sleep, avoided people, places or events out of fear or anxiety and at times been so anxious I have been physically sick and unfortunately I have often felt shame about all of this.
At so many points I would ride out the pain and the fear, I would hide it, disguise it or bury it and for any day, evening or hour I felt better, I’d think ‘see, you’re fine’. But it’s not about being fine, it’s about being healthy and it’s healthy to talk when you’re feeling down, or shit or depressed or anxious, to discuss those feelings with someone and find a way to work through it. It’s also important to talk about the days you feel fucking great, to share that, to figure out what it is that makes you feel great and work on getting more of that in your life.
While there are friends, partners or family members in your life that you can speak to, it’s so important to have an unbiased opinion or view or sounding board and ensuring you’re not relying solely on certain people for support.
So, for the upcoming mental health week, or at any point this mental health Month, why not speak to your doctor, start researching therapists in your area, or book in to see your therapist that you might not have seen a while.
It’s time to start taking care of your mental health, you’ve got this.
If you need advice, information or resources you can find them at the Black Dog Institute.
Ronnie 